just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
