that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
