After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize