I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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