Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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