She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
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I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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