he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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