Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
im having a threesome with these popsicles
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
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