Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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