He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
