Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Liz is crying about burritos again.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
