I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Randomize
