4 words: hood of his car
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Randomize
