Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
