I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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