You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
