What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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