ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I need to align my fucking chakras
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
