There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize