I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
