if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
