I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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