He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
