If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
