I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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