Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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