and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
