Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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