Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Shame - the story of my life.
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