Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
