Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize