yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
