If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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