But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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