I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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