Duck Duck Cougar?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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