Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
