i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
