you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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