every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
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