Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
