You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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