sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
