you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
