at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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