I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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