yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
