It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
