drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
His hands were made for my vagina.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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