If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
