I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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