3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
