I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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