Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
