I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
