I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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