well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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