I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
