Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
