my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
