I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize