There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Randomize
